This is not a feel sorry for me post, it's just open and honest.
I'm thinking about self love. Throughout my whole life I can't remember a time in my life where I loved myself. It's just seem like an impossible thing to do for me. I'm not being all sad and feeling sorry for myself. It's just that I can't do it and I don't know if I ever will to be honest.
People always say "you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself first." That's a load of complete and utter bullshit. I have so much love for my friends, partner, family and pets. I'm serious when I say I would do anything for them and I really, really hope they all love them selfs as much as I love them. But I won't question them if they don't. I'm filled with love for others but I just can't seem to come around and love myself. I understand and know that others do and I don't doubt that for a second. I know my loved ones love me and I'm so grateful for that. Don't ever think otherwise!
It's just weird when you think about it. But on the other hand I've lived my life for almost 30 years without loving myself and I consider myself to live a happy life. So the thing I'm starting to doubt is how important self love really is? For me it's a hard question to answer. Because to be honest giving love is so much more important to me than to love myself. That's just the honest truth.
I have plenty on love to give to others that it will last me a lifetime and I consider myself so extremely lucky to have that opportunity. There's people out there going through life without ever loving someone else. That's a life I could never live. But as long as I get to give love to others I'm happy and satisfied the way it is. That's more than enough for me.